Ted Rall on The Nib:
I was born in Massachusetts. Because my mom is French, however, I have dual French-U.S. citizenship.
I’m legally qualified to run. Unlike the U.S., France has no “native-born” clause. You have to be over 18, eligible to vote, and have a bank account. Which I do. In France, even. Also, with a salary of €13,000 a month ($215,000 a year), being President of France is a sweet deal.
First and foremost, as Supreme Commander-in-Chief of the French Armed Forces, I’d be in charge of a substantial nuclear arsenal that could come in handy when I contact editors about running my cartoons.
Supreme Commander-in-Chief of the French Armed Forces Ted Rall: “Bonjour. You should run my cartoons.”
Editor, New York Times: “No.”
Supreme Commander-in-Chief of the French Armed Forces Ted Rall: “An ASMP Amélioré cruise missile bearing one of my 290 nuclear warheads will arrive at your office in 25 minutes.”
Editor, New York Times: “I look forward to working with you.”
As President of France, I would also be Honorary Proto-Canon of the Basilica of St. John Lateran in Rome. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds cool.