Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

The GOP is butting up against a demographic issue, namely because they have alienated nearly every group of Americans except the fervently racist, pre-cognitive zygotes, and the near-dead, whose benefits they promise not to raid so long as they get to plunder everyone else’s. Unfortunately there’s still enough of those fine folks left to pull off an election victory in this country.

The problem the GOP faces is that its policies and public statements actively repel women, blacks, Hispanics, gays, the poor, and the decent on a daily basis. If your political party would perform better if we repealed women’s suffrage, you’re doing it wrong. With the shifting racial makeup of the country, this may be the last election where you can get to the presidency on a bitter white people propulsion device.

A new poll shows Romney trailing slightly with black voters, with a poor showing of 0%. The percent is zero. There’s a 3 point margin of error, however, leaving open the possibility that a negative amount of black people will vote for Romney. If I were running for president and zero percent of black people were going to vote for me I’d drop dead from shame. But then, I’d probably not run on the ticket of a party who works daily creating ways to prevent black people from voting. I’m sort of a weirdo like that.

I almost feel bad for Mitt. He’s doesn’t hate black people, he just doesn’t understand anyone who isn’t rich and privileged. (“Who let the dogs out?”) He missed his shot in 2004. Now he’s stuck with a party whose mind has been warped from three years of a black president and gays and women being treated as equals in some sectors of our society.”