Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

Before the general election even officially begins, the presidential race has devolved into a contest to see who can promise Americans the most extravagant, unrealistic changes. Until recently Obama was winning by claiming that he would change planet Earth itself.

But McCain, who describes himself as an “idealistic realist,” made his 2013 speech promising that Bin Laden would be vanquished, Iraq stable, the troops home, the economy booming, no more terrorist attacks, Iran and North Korea neutralized, Darfur saved and of course, low taxes–all by the end of his first term. I had to reach deep with references to Joe Lieberman and honey flowing through Baghdad to exaggerate his claims.

McCain used to deplore these “eloquent but empty” statements. In one victory speech, he asked if we would “heed appeals for change that ignore the lessons of history and lack confidence in the intelligence and ideals of free people.” Now he is doing just that: insulting our intelligence and ignoring what history–and the laws if physics–tell us we can achieve in four short years.

Asked if his predictions were realistic, he said, "I don’t think it has anything to do with fantasy, I think it has everything to do with setting goals and achieving.’’

It’s easy: the key to achieving goals is setting them. Hey, I just set a goal to run faster than any man alive. Catch me in Beijing this summer!

Wednesday: Hillary’s Latest Excuse

05.25.2008 |