Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

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Bobby Cutts–The Bors Connection

If I here a newscaster say "Mommy in the rug" one more time. Will this two year old child who witnessed his mother being killed be brought to testify, under oath with God as his witness, in the biggest murder trial since OJ busted out the cutlery? Is he reliable--has he lied in the past? Can he hold up to a vicious cross examination?

These are the questions Americans everywhere are asking themselves.

I was thinking the whole pregnant woman who was killed in my hometown story would be over now that there has been an arrest. Even the deep cynicism, ingrained in my DNA, couldn't prepare me for my daily dose of television news while eating my little lunch.

I keep seeing people I know on TV. Downtown vagabonds, prosecutors, half of the cops I'm seeing I recognize having chased me during my skateboarding days. I'm waiting to see Officer Silver, my grade school D.A.R.E. instructor, jump out and say "crime doesn't pay kids!" What is happening?

It was FOX (my preferred station), Studio B with the Shep. I watched stunned for 15 minutes while they covered an arraignment to set bond (5 mil). Nothing happened. Bond was set. See ya at the trial. No really. It went like this: silence, silence, guy walks up behind glass, silence, silence, judge says "bond is set at five million," guy leaves. Two on scene reporters gave 3 minute monologues detailing the feelings in the courtroom, facial twitches, and after arraignment gossip (Tensions were high).

I gathered myself, and sure that it was another FOX News anomaly switched stations. CNN, MSNBC, all non-stop coverage of nothing. You'd think the Trade Towers fell. But no, a bond was set.

Another thought: Bobby Cutts, the accused. A very villainous name. Not in a James Bond villain kind of way, but a WWE villain kind of way. Very Cantonian.

Oh yeah, so the title of this post. What's my connection to this whole thing?

There's not a lot of black cops in Canton. Is this the guy that used to cruise up on me and my friends while we were skateboarding Downtown to kick us off of GE's property? Did a 13 year old Bors defy the orders of future killer Bobby Cutts? My memory is hazy. I'll go with "yes" and make recounting stories of my youth more entertaining.
06.25.2007 |



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