Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

I laughed out loud when seventy year old authoritarian Presidential Candidate John McCain claimed he would follow Bin Laden “to the gates of Hell” during the GOP debate. What a chase that would be; old Bin Laden with his hiking stick and dialysis machine and John McCain lumbering after him. Hopefully when they got to the gates we could boot them both in and close the place up.

I was originally going to have Reagan summoned from Hell by the candidate that said his name the most during the debate but opted for this instead.

I knew McCain came from a military family but had no idea how far is went back. From reason’s cover story on him.

To say John McCain comes from a military family is a little like pointing out that Prince Charles is a scion of the upper class. Born in 1936, McCain is the Navy captain son of a four-star admiral who was the son of another four-star admiral, all named John Sidney McCain. And that just scratches the surface.

John McCain and his ancestors have served in every major U.S. war from the Revolution to Vietnam, and the line won’t stop there: 20-year-old John Sidney McCain IV (you can call him Jack) is learning the family trade at the Naval Academy, and 18-year-old Jimmy is in the Marines, waiting to deploy to Iraq. McCain’s father headed up the military’s Pacific command from 1968 to 1972, convincing President Nixon to illegally attack Cambodia and famously ordering the bombing of Hanoi even though he knew his son was still imprisoned there. He also led the controversial 1965 invasion of the Dominican Republic, which he defended by saying, "People may not love you for being strong when you have to be, but they respect you for it and learn to behave themselves when you are."


McCain’s grandfather commanded all naval air power during World War II and started a three-generation tradition of schmoozing in Washington by heading the Bureau of Naval Aeronautics, where he ordered up weapons systems. McCain’s major-general granduncle was the father of the modern military draft. And his paternal great-grandmother’s side of the family, he says, has an even stronger military tradition, including a militia captain on George Washington’s Revolutionary War staff, an Army captain in the War of 1812, even royalist brawlers in England’s mid-17th-century Civil War.

05.09.2007 |