Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

As you can see from the banner on the right, Attitude 3 is now on sale. Order from my store and get a signed sketch inside. I also have a big package deal with all of my books.

We have a problem in America. We are obsessed with our lawns. Having an overgrown lawn in the American suburbs will draw the evil glances of the entire neighborhood. It seemed in my youth that once a week was a good standard, but now I have noticed many people around me mowing every three days. They aren’t even cutting anything! You can’t even tell what has been ’cut’ and what hasn’t. The difference only detectable in their mind, in their endless quest to keep their lawn at golf course levels of uniformity.

Lawn mowing is an X-treme was of time. First of all, the grass always grows back so I just don’t see the point. Cutting the lawn is less productive than watching it grow. At least when you watch grass grow you aren’t paying for it. I can’t imagine the amount of resources that are used on this futile act. I would estimate billions of dollars a year are spent on water, gasoline, and fertilizer. I’m busy. Aren’t you? I don’t have time to be bothered with things like mowing, shaving, and getting my hair cut.

But I guess you can get around that by paying someone to mow it for you.

I never realized how crazy people are about their lawns until I worked part time with a friend mowing lawns last summer. People need them edged, bagged, mowed in particular directions, and every spare leaf and grass clipping blasted out of existence with an obnoxious leafblower.

05.18.2006 |