Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

Look at all those idiots
Ooh, look at all those boobs

An office full of morons

A factory full of fools

Is it any wonder that I’m singing, singing the blues!

-Mr Burns
The Simsons Sing The Blues

A New Poll shows that Americans have an easier time naming the Simpsons than their First Amendment rights. Not that suprising–half the country doesn’t vote and the Simpsons are a worldwide phenomenon–until you see how it breaks down.

  • Only one in four could name more than one of the five freedoms it upholds but more than half could name at least two members of the cartoon family.
  • About one in five thought the right to own a pet was one of the freedoms.
  • Another finding from the poll, a telephone survey of 1,000 random adults with an error margin of 3%, was that 22% of Americans could name all five Simpson characters.
  • Just one in 1,000 people could name all five First Amendment freedoms.

One in a thousand. Worse than pathetic. It’s something so demoralizing as a human being there isn’t even a word for it. I even feel bad typing this because out of every 1,000 people reading I’m making fun of 999 of you.

Another poll on Soldiers in Iraq had some great new info about our intelligence:

85% said the U.S. mission is mainly to retaliate for Saddam’s role in the 9-11 attacks, 77% said they also believe the main or a major reason for the war was to stop Saddam from protecting al Qaeda in Iraq.

What?! Sadly a third of Americans still think this also. I’m gong to have to blame the media on this one for uncritically echoing the lies and misdirections of the Bush Administration for years, then devoting a few minutes to the fact that the 9/11 commission confirmed what intelligent people already knew. Saddam’s role in 9/11 seem to be a matter of opinion these days. The poll also said this:

An overwhelming majority of 72% of American troops serving in Iraq think the U.S. should exit the country within the next year, and more than one in four say the troops should leave immediately.

My God, how many would want to leave if they didn’t think Saddam attacked us on 9/11?

03.05.2006 |