Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

Bors Blog

Ever read the Bible and say to yourself "why isn't this printed in funky purple type with a sweet logo on the cover?" yeah, who hasn't, right? WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHO HASN'T: readers of the Extreme Teen Bible:
The Extreme Teen Bible dares teens to crack open its pages and live up to the cutting-edge standard found inside. This New King James translation (thoroughly explained in teen-friendly language) is clad in funky purple print and snowboard-type logos, appealing to the thrill seeker by promising a life of "no fears, no regrets, just a future with a promise."
But it gets better. 75% of the reviews sound a little like this:
After hitting up the vert on my skateboard, downing a Go-Gurt while getting sick air, there's nothing better than to read my EXTREME™ Teen Bible. What could be more extreme than crucifixion and resurrection? Well, maybe listening to the Van Warped Tour CD while eating EXTREME™ Fruit Snacks, grinding mean slopes on my snowboard with guitar in hand playing insane solos using only my teeth, with my EXTREME™ Teen Bible while fighting against the system and being a true revolutionary like Jesus, but resurrection comes close in extremeness. If it was anymore EXTREME™, we'd call it the Koran.
and this:
Now, I was totally ripped out of my skull on acid the whole time, but I think I read that this cat had to build a f***ing boat to escape a flood that covered the Earth.
In other news I have enabled comments at the bottom. This amazing feature took me about a year to get around to and only took a few moments messing around with my blog settings. Archives can't be far off!
09.20.2005 |



mattbors@gmail.com