I filled out my 2010 census form yesterday. It took all of two minutes, but I noticed a peculiar phrase at the beginning. The form said I should “count all people, including babies…”
Including babies? What sort of person wouldn’t already think of a baby as a unique person worthy of counting? Who but a communist would need that clarified for them – or feel the need to clarify it to to others? DO WE NOT COUNT THE FETUS?!
Conservatives believe all sorts of nonsense about the census and, not surprisingly, oppose filling out the race portion of the form for fear of… I don’t know, a non-white or a non-missile getting a Federal penny? Beck bizarrely posits, “they are asking the race question to try to increase slavery” and many conservatives will be writing in “American” for their race. (Upon informing my brother of this, he replied, “That sounds like a race of assholes.”)
Now I know Beck doesn’t literally believe people have been alive since 1790, but since the things he believes about the census are almost as absurd I decided to run with it for the sake of a joke. Also, this comic is merely an illustrated version of a blog post I did last week, then took down, so to make up for that I will have another cartoon this Friday on Jihadi Jane.